


Traveler the traveler!

by Error403HRD



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Crack, FOR THE BANANAS, Gen, Humor, Short One Shot, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 20:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30094971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Error403HRD/pseuds/Error403HRD
Summary: He is a simple traveler named-erm-Traveler! He sells bananas....the sweet...deliciousbananas....(For LU Discord BotW Week, Bystander Prompt)
Relationships: Traveler & Banana
Kudos: 21





	Traveler the traveler!

The traveler whistled as he jaunted along the trail. Just a normal everyday traveler named-erm-Traveler! 

Just a normal everyday traveler looking to sell delicious bananas!

Delicious...delectable...bananas...he was actually getting pretty hungry...no, he can't! They're for his cov-hrm-to make money! So he can keep being a traveler! Just a normal everyday traveler!

He whistled happily before coming to a stop at the beach.

Just a normal everyday merchant/traveler. Traveler the traveler!

And he waited.

And waited.

He was getting pretty hungry. 

But he can't eat the produce.

So he waited.

And waited.

A traveler should travel, but he had found the perfect spot.

Right?

He sat there. His stomach growled, the delectable, _enticing_ bananas called out for him.

But Master-er-someone said that he shouldn't eat the produce.

But he was so hungry.

No. He'll be discovered soon, and then he'll be free to do as he wishes.

He just needs to be found first.

Someone will find him eventually.

That someone will be the hero-because everyone knows the hero is great, so the hero must love bananas! That's the only reason.

Night fell.

His stomach rumbled. He sighed, no luck today, he'll be discovered later. Opening his pack, he ignored the _delicious bananas_ and instead grabbed the pack of...food, that he'd been forced to bring.

He just wants the bananas.

Why couldn't someone else be made to endure this torture-because he's Traveler the traveler! Totally not part of an organization! This was totally a self-imposed issue! No one's telling him to do anything!

But the _bananas._

But no. He can't eat the bananas. Be has to wait. Someone has to find him. They'll buy his bananas, hopefully not too many-er-hopefully all of them because he needs money to be a traveler! Traveler the traveler! He needs money, even if it means sacrificing all his bananas.

And so he waited.

And waited.

Where was the hero?

It's been three months.

He's been sitting here.

At least his bananas are still fresh.

His...lovely _delicious_ bananas.

He ran out of food a month ago.

It's fine. That's what fish are for.

He chose a good spot.

Even if he just wants a banana.

Just one.

But no, he can't eat them.

So he won't.

Even if they're calling out to him.

He waits.

And waits.

And waits.

And waits.

It's winter.

It's spring.

It's summer.

Why hasn't the hero banished the Calamity yet? Has he been killed? Surely Maste-er-the _rumor mill_ would've told him if he'd died.

Right?

He feels ill.

Maybe it's from only eating fish for over half a year?

The bananas would surely help.

The bananas....

Please....

Hero please.

Hurry up.

"Oh, hi!"

Thank you Lord Ganon. Thank you so much.

"Step right up-don't be shy! Check out my fine bananas! They're available...to buy!"

It hurts it hurts so much. But it's his ticket to freedom. Then he can have as many bananas as he wants. He'll have to sacrifice these bananas though. The ones who've been with him all this time.

"So yellow, they'll make you yell 'oh!' So fresh you'll think there's a tree around the corner. And the taste-like a dream!"

He'll have to abandon them....

"Stay right there and buy a pair!"

He has a hundred....surely the hero won't need a hundred bananas. He can keep one. As a companion. The one who's seen him through it all.

"Sure, I'll buy."

The hero stares at his stash.

He doesn't seem to notice the banana that Traveler the traveler has stuck in his pocket.

"These bananas are my pride and joy!"

And it's the truth, they're the only thing that's kept him motivated through all this suffering.

His sweet....delicious bananas.

"Pick as many as you want!"

Because he's stolen one. He's stolen one. What are the consequences of stealing one? What has he done?

"I'll take 'em all!"

And for a moment his heart shatters, but it's fine, because he still has one.

"All the bananas!? I don't know what to say! So then... _99_ will run you 9,801 rupees. What a sale!"

Yes. What a sale. What a loss. He feels like a traitor. What have these bananas done to him? And now he's giving them to the filth covered hands of the _blessed hero_ to be _disrespected_ in the worst ways.

At least the hero was out nearly 10000 rupees.

"Thanky-thanky-thank-a you."

The hero gives no response. How rude.

"Well then... I hope you come back later... That's a lie as slippery as a banana peel."

Finally, he rids himself of the lie. He is not Traveler the traveler! He is a Yiga footsoldier! His mission is to kill the hero and seek justice for those _poor bananas!_

"For the bana-I mean, for the boss!"

And so it is. He sheds his disguise and the hero attacks.

The hero is strong, but not strong enough! Right-

_Right!?_

He is thrown across the beach, the hero is upon him, a swing aimed to kill. To chop off his head. He knew the hero was a savage _murderer._

Before he can be killed, he retreats, accidentally dropping the banana, his best friend, in his haste to escape.

His loss against the hero is soured even further. He is reprimanded for his failure, and for failing to keep even a single banana.

He's failed the poor bananas.

**Author's Note:**

> This is hands down, the best thing I've ever written.
> 
> I saw the prompt and knew _exactly_ what I was going to do for both the art prompt and the writing prompt. It's been a good day.


End file.
